27 . 07 . 2012

I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done this to you. To them. I know you said it first but…

Why? I’m just…

We won’t…

There’s no happy ending here.

When…After…Kahje….Some part of me thought “At least I won’t leave anyone behind now.” But then there was you and suddenly I started meeting all these wonderful people and I couldn’t stop myself. I was so tired of being alone…Even when I still had my family I felt so alone.

Iva took nearly all of me when she died. Even after four years I hadn’t really recovered. But I was trying. And it’s like you all knew that. You swooped in and gave me the companionship I didn’t know I so desperately needed. You gave me a new family when I’d just lost everyone I’d ever loved. And now I have all these people that will get left behind….

I feel so guilty. I don’t want to do this to any of you. Especially you. Especially Challa and Ren. But I can’t let go now. Everything’s so much better with you…

And now I’m just selfishly holding on to you all because I don’t want to be alone again.

I’m so sorry…

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  1. analyst-annie posted this